Wine School and a Nun’s Indiscretion

A few weeks ago I attended an all day wine review to help me prepare for my upcoming Sommelier Certification Test. The gentleman leading the class was just that . . . a complete gentleman. Professor Vintage was properly mannered, beautifully attired, brilliant in his field and perfect in everyway. So, when the time came for him to review with us the correct way to open a bottle of Champagne, I was a bit shocked when he said the cork coming out of the bottle should make the sound of a "nun's fart."

Goodness! Gracious! At first I wasn't sure what exactly he was talking about. After all, I don't even know a nun, let alone one who has flatulence. I viewed Professor Vintage a little differently after that puzzling comment. Yes, he was still very informative and a highly skilled instructor, but really, a nun's fart?

When I returned home Dr. Alex and I met our friends, Fred and Ethel Mertz for dinner. Since they both were educated in Catholic Schools, I asked them if they had ever heard a nun pass gas. Fred said, "You mean a sister cutting the cheese?" Ethel laughed and said that Professor Vintage had obviously never met Sister Mary Katherine, whose whoppers sounded more like sonic booms. We had a very nice dinner with Fred and Ethel laughing, eating and of course drinking.

When we returned home I realized how much work I had before me in order to pass my test in November. Removing some inexpensive bottles of sparkling wine from the refrigerator, I began practicing the correct way to open and serve the wine.

First you need to set out your mise en place; consisting of your champagne flutes, service tray, serviettes (folded and arranged for service and drying the bottle after it is removed from the bucket), waiter's key (corkscrew), under liners or coasters (for placement of the bottle and cork). Finally, you will need your bottle of sparkling wine.

Next, pick up the bottle, dry it if necessary and firmly grasp its neck. Now, use the knife on your corkscrew to cut the foil at a 45 degree angle. I would always use the blade rather than the pull tab around the neck since the pull tabs tend to break off easily. With your thumb securely on the top of the cork (and the bottle pointed away from yourself and anyone else that could be injured by a flying cork) proceed with the next step.

Ready, untwist the wire cage six times to loosen all the while making sure your thumb is securely preventing the cork from popping out. Grab the bottom of the bottle and slowly turn it while the cork is slowly becoming separated from the bottle. At this point you really need to make sure you have control of the cork so there is not a loud pop. Remember what our goal sound should be. Slowly, gently and then voila there is the gentle little whisper of what I prefer to call "a nun's indiscretion."

We have now have successfully opened a bottle of sparkling wine in the most proper possible way. The reason for the whisper instead of the dramatic movie pop is to keep the air and the bubbles in the bottle.

Speaking of Bubbly-I recently enjoyed a bottle of Pierre Peters Blanc de Blanc Grand Cru Brut NV. I thoroughly appreciated the white peach, crisp apple and yeasty finish.

A very pleasureable 4 aprons-approx. $50.00

Hoping you find Champagne bottles and caviar tins in your apron pockets.

XXOO

Mrs. Reed